Thermostat or Thermometer: Setting the Spiritual Temperature of Your Home

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afnaVoIT6Ng

The Temperature Wars

Let me start with a question that has caused more tension in more marriages than we'd like to admit. What is the ideal temperature set at in your home?

In our house, this is an active debate. Abby prefers our house to be at 68 most of the year. Natalie and I are more in the ballpark of 70 to 72. That might not sound like a big gap, but two degrees is the difference between "cozy" and "why are you wearing a coat inside."

Every house has a "normal" temperature, and you can feel it the second you walk in the door. Some homes hit you like a warm blanket. Some homes you keep your jacket on. And here's the thing about that temperature. It didn't set itself. Somebody set it. It gets set by the people who live there.

I think the same thing is true in a way we don't talk about nearly as much. Every home has a spiritual temperature. And just like the number on the wall, it gets set by the people who live there, usually to whatever makes us comfortable.

Do you know the difference between a thermostat and a thermometer? A thermometer just reports the temperature. A thermostat sets it. A lot of us are thermometers when it comes to the spiritual temperature of our homes. We see it. We describe exactly what's wrong. But we don't actually do anything to set the temperature.

Most of us assume a Christian home gets built by the big decisions. But the real temperature of your home, the atmosphere your kids breathe in every day, that gets built by the small stuff you're not even thinking about. A Christ-centered home is built one small choice at a time.

We're going to look at two passages that show us how. Choose. Clothe. Cultivate.

Choose

Our first passage comes from Joshua 24. Joshua is an old man now. He gathers all of Israel together for one last sermon. And before he asks these people to do a single thing, verses 2 through 13 are just a long, steady drumbeat of everything God had already done for them. He reminds them of grace before he ever gets to the ask.

Then, on the back of all that grace:

Joshua 24:14-15: "So fear the Lord and serve him wholeheartedly. Put away forever the idols your ancestors worshiped when they lived beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt. Serve the Lord alone. But if you refuse to serve the Lord, then choose today whom you will serve... But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord."

Joshua names three sets of gods, and every one of them is still in the room this morning.

First, the gods of the Euphrates were the gods of their ancestors. These are the idols nobody actually chose. They came down the family line like the good china you inherited. You know what this sounds like today? "We've always done it this way." When the way we've always done something matters more than what the Lord is actually asking of us right now, we've quit serving God. We're serving our ancestors.

Second, the gods of Egypt were the gods of their youth. These are the idols that got formed in us when we were young. The old comforts we go running back to the second the pressure hits. It's the coping habit you picked up at 17 that somehow still owns you at 47. The gods of Egypt never ask for a lot at first. They just never let go.

Third, the gods of the Amorites were the gods of today. These are the gods of the culture we're living in this very minute. They don't look like gods. They look normal. For many of us, the god of today is our phone. It's the first thing most of us touch in the morning and the last thing we look at at night. If we define worship as where our attention goes, then a lot of us are more devoted to that little screen than we've ever been to anything or anybody in our lives.

I heard one pastor put it like this. He said this might be the hardest time in the history of the church to be a pastor, because he gets his people for maybe one hour a week. If somebody shows up every single Sunday, faithfully, that's 52 hours in a whole year. The algorithm? The algorithm gets that same 52 hours out of them in less than two weeks. The algorithm gets to disciple his church significantly more than he does.

What are you letting disciple your family? What is actually setting the spiritual temperature in your home right now? Because something is.

And this is exactly the moment Joshua stands up and says, "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." He's setting the spiritual temperature of his home in front of God and everybody. Devotion is a decision, and it's a present-tense decision. Godly leadership in a home starts with the person in the mirror.

Notice he says "choose today." Not that one time at a camp when you were 16. Today. This morning. And then tomorrow morning. And the one after that.

Clothe

Our second passage is Colossians 3. Paul first wrote these words to a church, but if it's true for the family of God gathered in a sanctuary, it's just as true for the smaller family gathered around your kitchen table. Your home is a little church.

Colossians 3:12-14: "Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love."

Same exact move as Joshua. Before Paul tells these people to do one single thing, he reminds them who they already are. "Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves." Grace comes before the command, every time.

Then he says, "clothe yourselves." You don't decide one time in your life to be dressed and then you're set forever. You get up and you choose an outfit every single morning. And it's the same with these things. Compassion, kindness, patience, these are not moods that just float down and land on you when you're lucky. You have to deliberately put them on before you ever walk out of your bedroom.

And then Paul says the hard part. "Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you." You know who offends us the most? It's not strangers. It's the people we live with. It's the people close enough to actually hurt us. Forgiveness in a home is not a big dramatic movie moment. It's a small, daily, unglamorous thing. It's letting the little offense go for the hundredth time. And the only reason we can even do it is because God forgave us first. We forgive out of a full account, not an empty one.

A Christ-centered home is not a home where nobody ever fails. That home does not exist. A Christ-centered home is one where people keep putting the clothes back on.

Cultivate

But the clothes you put on at seven in the morning can come right back off by noon. So how do you make this last?

Colossians 3:15, 17: "And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts... And whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus."

I want to camp on that word "rule." The word Paul uses there is actually a sports word. It means "to umpire." Picture a referee on the field.

Here's the picture in your home. When there's a dispute, and there will be a dispute, somebody has to make the call. In most homes, the one that makes the call is the loudest voice. Or the squeaky wheel. Or whoever's in the worst mood that day. But Paul says, no. Let Christ's peace be the umpire. Not the volume, not the temper, not who can hold out the longest. Christ makes the call.

And then verse 17. "Whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus." Whatever. Not just the church stuff. The dishes. The commute. The bedtime routine you've done nine hundred times. All of it gets to be worship. A home gets built the same way a house gets built. Day by day, brick by brick, choice by choice.

Be a Thermostat

Choose, clothe, cultivate. Not one of them is a big heroic moment. There's no single grand gesture that fixes a home. A Christ-centered home is built one small choice at a time. A thousand small ones, done over and over, day after day.

You are already setting the temperature of your home every single day, whether you mean to or not. That part isn't optional. The only real question is which gods you're serving while you do it.

Here's my challenge this week. Do one thing. Just one, to set the temperature of your home. Maybe that's committing to pray together before every meal. Maybe it's using the drive to the store to ask your kids what they're thankful for. Maybe it's being the first one in your house to say "I'm sorry" and actually model what forgiveness looks like.

I don't know exactly what it is for your family, because your family isn't like anybody else's. But my challenge is simple. Be a thermostat, not a thermometer. Set the temperature. Don't just report it.

Every home has a temperature. Somebody is going to set yours. Go home this week, and by the grace of God, set it on Him.

Small Group Questions

ICE BREAKER QUESTIONS

1. What temperature is your home actually kept at, and who in the household controls the thermostat? Is there a "temperature war" going on? What does that reveal about whose comfort is being prioritized?

2. Think about a home you've walked into that had a distinct "spiritual temperature" (positive or negative). What did you notice? What made it feel that way? What was being cultivated in that home, even if the people weren't intentionally cultivating it?

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

1. The sermon distinguished between a thermometer (reports the temperature) and a thermostat (sets it). "A lot of us are thermometers when it comes to the spiritual temperature of our homes. We see it. We talk about it... But we don't actually do anything about it." Be honest: are you currently a thermostat or a thermometer in your home? What specifically would need to change for you to move from reporting to setting?

2. The sermon's central idea: "A Christ-centered home is built one small choice at a time." Most of us assume big decisions build a Christian home. But the real temperature comes from "the tone of your voice when somebody spills the milk. Whether the phone gets your eyes or the person does." What small daily choice most consistently shapes the atmosphere of your home right now, for better or for worse?

3. Joshua reminded Israel of everything God had done for them (Joshua 24:2-13) BEFORE asking them to choose. "God's kindness comes first. It's the reason for the choice, not the reward for it." Why does the order matter? How does trying to earn God's favor rather than responding to what He's already done change our motivation, and often produce burnout or resentment?

4. Joshua named three categories of gods still competing for our devotion: gods of ancestors (tradition/inheritance), gods of Egypt (old comforts/coping), and gods of the Amorites (current culture). Which of these three has the strongest pull on you personally? What specifically has been handed down, held onto since youth, or absorbed from culture that's setting your home's temperature more than Christ is?

5. The sermon named "the gods of our ancestors" as tradition standing in for obedience, "we've always done it this way" mattering more than what God is asking now. Where in your life (or in the church) is tradition being served rather than God? How do we honor good tradition while remaining willing to hear what God is actually asking of us today?

6. The sermon named "the gods of Egypt" as the coping habits picked up in youth that still own us later, "the alcohol, the tobacco, the old vices that promised you relief back when you were young, and now they just show up every month and demand their tribute." Without needing to share specifics, is there an "Egypt god" that still shows up in your life demanding tribute? What would it look like to renounce that god the way Joshua told Israel to?

7. The sermon named "the gods of the Amorites" as the phone and algorithm. The sobering statistic: a faithful churchgoer gets 52 hours of church a year, but the algorithm gets that same 52 hours in less than two weeks. "The algorithm gets to disciple his church significantly more than he does." Who or what is currently discipling you and your family more than Jesus? What one concrete change could you make this week to reclaim time and attention from that algorithm?

8. Paul begins Colossians 3:12 the same way Joshua did, with identity first: "Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves." Then he says "clothe yourselves" with mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience. The sermon emphasized: "You don't decide one time in your life to be dressed and then you're just set forever." What "outfit" are you wearing today? Did you deliberately put on compassion and patience this morning, or did you just walk out of your bedroom hoping you'd feel like it later?

9. Paul says forgive "just as the Lord forgave you" (Colossians 3:13). The sermon noted: "You know who offends us the most? It's not strangers. It's the people we live with." How do we sustain daily forgiveness in a home without becoming a doormat or letting real hurts go unaddressed? What's the difference between the daily "letting the little offense go for the hundredth time" and the bigger conversations that need to happen?

10. The sermon's challenge: "Do one thing. Just one, to set the temperature of your home this week." Examples included praying before every meal, asking kids what they're thankful for on the drive to the store, being the first to say "I'm sorry," or (for those living alone) speaking one word of thanks before you eat or calling someone who feels alone. What one specific thing will YOU do this week to be a thermostat in your home?